I just returned a family event celebrating Easter and my brother's birthday and suddenly feel very self-conscious about all the things everybody thinks they knows about me. It seems all my brother's in-laws (my inlaws-in-law?) read the damn book and now I fear they will never look at me the same way again. I have no idea whether this is good or bad. Suddenly I'm painfully aware that my friends and colleagues -- should they actually read the quirky and indulgent novel -- may readjust their perception of me in a way that isn't necessarily flattering. I've given every one a picture window to see what an ass I can be.
This is what memoirs are all about, I suppose. You take the risk of ruining your reputation with candor. But in my case I've butchered the integrity of a serious memoir with flagrant lies and distortions of reality, all in the name of pulp fiction. There's far too much fantasy and subterfuge in there to even call it auto-biographical.
I know who I am. But the reader has choices. I can be a clown, a cognitive cripple or a delusional Hemingway wanna-be. That's what I get for writing at home wearing my pajamas all day.
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